She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
