He is an equal opportunity slut.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
