the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
