Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
