And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
