I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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