is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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