Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just invented taco cereal.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You are the jesus of drinking
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
