Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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