just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
