she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
