Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
