Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
