There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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