is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
