Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
