i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Randomize
