I just made out with a guy for $7.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
