shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
