yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Enjoy the penises
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
