we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
