I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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