You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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