your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
