if i died would you start the facebook group?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
