Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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