I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
