I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
