So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
