we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
