Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
