I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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