I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
