you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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