I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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