Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
