i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
