Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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