I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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