Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
