If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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