Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
