Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
