have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
