She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
