so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
