He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
