I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
