And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
