yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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