I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
