:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
